Subject: Repost: SSC-97 *The Mushroom* (Mija)
From: Mija <mijita@newsguy.com>
Date: 24 Jun 1998 01:42:58 -0700
-- For P. . . who keeps his books *so* nice. --
The girl rolls over onto her stomach, kicks the air with her feet, tosses aside her book and mutters,
'Boring!'
A voice so near, so familiar, as to be almost inside her own head, asks
'Have you been a naughty little girl?'
This side makes you big. . .
no
A simple 'No.'
No
Memories of childhood punishments, her father horrible, frightening, out-of-control. Wishing she could make him stop. The hurt -- the anger -- clouding her present. Wanting to be big, praying to grow-up, to get away from him, from *there*.
. . . . nonono . . . .
Now, *here,* no means 'Not now. I'm me. I'm grown-up. I work. I study. I love you. . . nonono. . . don't you spank me.'
. . . . No No No . . . .
So easy to say, 'no.'
No.
I love you because you hear me say 'no.'
...and this side makes you small...
...but the girl wants to be spanked.
{yes}
Other memories, of safety, of being taken over his lap, uniform folded up, panties to her knees. His hand, the initial sting, building to burn. Crying. The cool back of her hairbrush. Rhythmic searing as the oval descends again and again and again, hurting, punishing . . . healing.
{yesyesyes}
No need, no reason to hold back tears, to be brave. With him, this is no contest of wills, no competition -- she's already conceded by consenting. Tears followed by sobs, she moves beyond the sobs, beyond her physical self. The ritual’s incomplete until she does. The spanking’s not over until then. Until they pass 'then.'
{YesYesYes}
But how can she say yes?
yes
How to say, 'Spank me, please'?
Yes.
Please take me over your lap; hold me tight. Spank me. Take my uniform up, my panties down. Spank me. Make me smaller and smaller; I trust you. Spank me. I'm little enough now that you have to protect me; help me re-write my memories. Spank me. Let me know it's okay for me not to be an adult; we'll write a new childhood. Spank me. Show me you see the little girl I never was, that I become with you.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
I love you because you understand when I say 'yes.'
Ghosts of spankings past waft through her mind. Childhood nightmares transform. The uncanny’s finally expressed as punishments merge with -- *into* -- desires.
*Yes*.
The girl’s lost in her fantasy -- she’s startled to hear:
'Alice, have you been a naughty little girl?'
Frozen in memories of her childhood, she cannot say
'Yes.'
'No.'
The girl watches through lowered lashes as he hides all disappointment, honors his promises to her. She waits for him to pick up the book, for him to start reading, for a settled expression she can interrupt.
'Honest, didn't even *touch* your old book. The corners of those pages were *already* folded over. And that binding's defective, I'm totally sure.'
She sees him look up. The girl holds her breath. His stern expression must mask his smile.
'Young lady. . .'