From: SFPo8@aol.com
To: laura@netgate.net
Subject: Gwen's Diary

Gwen's Diary - Fiction ( f/f, F/f , kids)

[I had an e-mail discussion recently with someone about whether children ever
enjoyed being spanked. I have never read a post from any one claiming to have
enjoyed actual childhood spankings instead of just enjoying the fantasy, but
this guy told me the when he was a child he knew a girl who did like being
spanked and got spanked on purpose. 
I think this would be an interesting thread if anyone can recall doing such a
thing as a child - more than once!  
The idea led to the following story.  People who are troubled by children's
sexuality might not like this, but I think it is an honest attempt to depict
how children think, and  what it would be like to be Gwen, and I would
welcome feedback from women readers who find it accurate or absurd or
whatever.] 
  
************
Monday, February 1

Dear Diary,

I am so happy to have you to write to. Daddy gave you to me for my tenth
birthday because he says I am a big girl now and because he says I write so
well for my age. I am going to tell you all the things I think and all the
things I do, and I am not even going to tell some of them to Patty because
she tells other people things sometimes and this is going to be my secret
diary, just you and me.  

February 2

Dear Diary,

I am so sorry that I took you to school and showed you to Patty.  She was
really awful, and the way she wanted to look inside of you made me so mad
that I pushed her, and she fell down.  She said I made her scrape her knee,
and she bawled like a big baby, but it wasn't my fault at all. But the
teacher said I can't bring you  to school any more because  it isn't
propriate so I will leave you home and tell you everything when I get home
after school every single day. 

February 3

Patty wouldn't even talk to me today. She said she told on me and her mother
was going to call my mother and I'd get in trouble. She used to be my friend,
but now I think she is just a big liar and a b.....!  

(I shouldn't write that down, but you are my secret diary, and so I will tell
you what I told her when she told me that. I said she was a bitch!!!!!! ) I
can write anything I want in you, can't I diary, and you won't mind at all. 

February 4

Patty's mother called my mother yesterday  and told her how I had pushed
Patty, but I explained it and mommy knows I was telling the truth and said it
was alright.
Patty told me at school that she would get me in trouble for what I did, and
I told her . . .  I don't think I should write that down.   Anyway, she said
she would do something, and I would get in trouble, and I would get a
spanking,  and I told her my mommy never spanks me. Patty gets spanked a lot,
and she talks about it a lot, and, you know, Diary, when she talks about it
it makes me feel kind of funny. I have always wondered about spankings, but I
am sure glad I don't get them!!!!! 

February 5 

Patty and I are friends again. She told me that her mother found out that she
had made most of the story up about me pushing her, and how she had started
it, and so her mother got really mad and gave Patty a really hard spanking.
Patty said that her mother made Patty take her panties down and lie over her
knee and then she spanked her really hard until Patty was crying.  I think
that would really hurt an awful lot, especially on the bare bottom like that.
 When I think about it, though, I get a very funny feeling in a very strange
place, and I just wonder what it would feel like. I am sure glad I am never
going to find out!!! 

February 6

I went over to Patty's house to play today, Diary, and I am still wondering
about some of the things we did. 'Cause Patty  is really different from me
and does some things I don't understand. She says her older sister and her
older brother her have explained a lot of stuff which I didn't really know
about and, of course, my brother is only 7. Like she told me that she got
another spanking Friday night because she sassed her mother and said some
really bad words . . . I guess I can tell you, Diary, she used the f-word ,
fuck, it feels funny to write that, but I'm sure nobody will see this but
you. So her mom spanked her with a hairbrush, and she said it left real
marks, so when we were in her room she pulled her panties down and showed me,
and there sure were some marks on her bottom! 
But then she asked me if I knew all about the other stuff "down there" and I
said what do you mean and she said had I ever looked at my "pussy" which I
didn't understand, and she said you know, what they call your vagina.  Of
course my mother explained to me about how little boys have a penis and
little girls have a vagina, but I don't know how you could see that, and
Patty explained that she used a mirror to see inside, which was kind of
interesting to me, and then she asked if I would like to look at hers. I just
wasn't sure about that, because mother always told me that was a private
place but I guessed that if Patty didn't mind it might be kind of fun, so I
said OK and she lay down on the bed with her panties off and with her legs
wide apart and reached down and pulled apart her "pussy" with her fingers so
I could see. It was all pink in there, and there was a little spot which she
called her "clitty" which she said felt really good when you touched it, but
I wasn't sure about that, and then she said she wanted to look at mine and I
thought maybe I shouldn't do that except then Patty said she might tell on us
and I sure didn't want anybody to know about what we did so I let her look
too
So Diary I am not sure if what we did was bad but when I think about it I get
this tickle right down in my "pussy" - I guess I like that word now - and I
wonder if it would be all right to touch it where she said, and what would
happen?    

February 7

I guess I couldn't wait like I thought I would Diary, 'cause last night in
bed I touched that part down there, my "clitty" and at first it didn't feel
like much but then I rubbed around with my finger and also inside of my
"pussy" and all of a sudden I had this really, really funny feeling and it
was so good. I have to ask Patty at school about this.  Does she do this all
the time? Is it really all right? I wish you were really able to talk back to
me , Diary, because I want to know, and I think Patty is the only person I
should talk to about this. 

February 8

Patty is not my friend any more. I am so mad at her.  I saw her at recess and
told her what I did, and she told somebody else, and I don't know how I can
even go to school any more.  I guess I was really dumb to trust her.  She is
a fucking bitch!!!! There - I don't care if that's bad language . . . fuck,
fuck, fuck Patty!!!!!!

February 9

Patty's has a friend named Rachel, and she told me today that there is a club
of girls who know all about what Patty told me and that if I wanted to join
the club I could. It is a big secret from everybody.  I don't know what I
should do.

February 10

The club meets after school but mostly on weekends, and they do some "dirty"
things.  I told Rachel I didn't want to get in trobule, and she told me I was
a "virgin." I don't understand that, exactly.  I don't think I should ask
anybody, cause it's probably not nice. 

February 11

I looked "virgin" up in the dictionary today, and I don't understand at all.
It said something about "carnal knowledge" and " charity" and didn't make any
sense, and I know all about Mary and those pictures and Jesus and stuff, but
what did Rachel mean? 

February 12

I asked Rachel what she meant, and she kind of explained it to me. She said a
virgin was somebody who hadn't "fucked."  I don't really know what
"fucked"is, but I know it has something to do with babies and men and women
and vaginas and that stuff, and of course I don't think  any of the girls my
age have done anything like that. I didn't even think you could until your
married or at least grown up. She said I was just a baby but I could come to
the club meeting tomorrow if I wanted to and I would learn all about it, and
I really want to know, and maybe I'll go just to see what they do. 

February 13

Well, Diary, I am now a member of Patty's  club, and maybe I shouldn't have
gone there, but I learned a lot, and I don't know if it is bad or not, and it
worries me.
There are five girls in the club - I mean, five others - and they all seem to
know all about fucking and all that stuff. They taught me all these words I
didn't know, "dick" and "cock" and "cunt", and they told me about how men and
women fuck, and it sounded really awful.  And they told me about how men
sometimes put their "dicks" in a girl's mouth, and how stuff comes out -
yuckkk!  But it was still awfully interesting.  And they had magazines that
Patty's sister bought and Patty found, and it showed all this stuff, and when
I looked at the pictures I felt all funny again, the way I did when I touched
my clitty, and I found out they all do that. Together!  And so we did.  One
girl even did that to another girl, put her fingers there.  And Rachel told
me once a girl put her tongue there!  They meet tomorrow, too, but they do
something else which they wouldn't tell me, so I will have to wait to tell
you about it.

February 14

The "Bad Girls" club meeting today was so weird!  But I am still glad I got
to join. 
See, on Sundays the "Bad Girls" meet to talk about all the bad things they
have done, and about the really bad things they think about, and then . . .
and then they get spankings for being bad.  They give them to each other. One
girl is another girl's mommy and asks her what she did wrong, and the girl
has to tell her, and then she gets spanked for it.  And I got spanked!  I had
to tell Louise about how I played with my pussy and my clitty, and how I
wrote bad words in my diary, and she told me I was a very naughty girl and
had to be spanked on my bare bottom, and so she took my panties down and put
me over her knee and spanked me.  And it really hurt.  She only used her
hand, but it stung my bottom and I told her to stop and she said  "This is
what naughty girls get for doing naughty things, and if you want to stay in
the club, you better get used to a good spanking 'cause you'll get one every
week!"
The funny thing was that after my spanking my bottom was real warm but it
kind of felt good, and when I watched the other girls get spanked and felt my
own bottom still warm, I got that tickling feeling again and I wanted to put
my fingers inside me but I didn't want to do it in front of the others,
exactly, except maybe I did?  
Next week, they said, I will get to spank somebody else now that I am not a
virgin any more. 

 

February 15

Nothing much happened at school today, Diary. The girls in the club don't
talk about it much at school because we are worried that someone might hear
us. 
But I wanted to tell you about something that happened last night. I was in
bed going to sleep and I was lying on my tummy and I started remembering how
I got spanked, and I got that funny feeling again because when I remembered
the spanking it didn't really hurt. All I could remember was lying over
Louise's lap with my bare bottom sticking up and how it when she spanked me
it made me kind of jump and push myself against her legs, and when I thought
about it I pushed myself against the bed and it started to feel good. So I
took my pillow and put it between my legs and thought about the spanking and
pushed and pushed back and forth and then it felt like it did when I put my
finger in there, only better, because I thought about how the spanking made
my bottom so warm, and I kept doing it, and then I felt really, really
wonderful, like a big wave, or a nice warm shower all over me and especially
deep inside me, right there!  I just never felt anything better than that.  I
want to do that again tonight.

February 16

Mommy came in my room last night all of a sudden while I was doing "that."  I
don't think she knew. She just asked me what was the matter, and I said I was
having a bad dream.  I was so worried.  Does she know that little girls do
that? Would I get in trouble?

February 17

I asked Patty and Rachel today about whether they ever got caught  doing
"that" at home, and they laughed at me. They said they were really careful
about not getting caught, and Patty said her sister told her all kids do
"that," even boys, except it's different for them. When they do it, stuff
comes out, and so they have to be careful not to make a mess - at least
that's what her sister told her. I'm glad I don't have to worry about that,
except sometimes I have a little stuff coming out of me too, like water, kind
of, except it comes sometimes right before I do that, not after. I don't know
what it is, so I guess I'll ask Rachel.  

February 18 

Rachel says that girls get all wet inside when they think of dirty things and
that is because when they are older when boys stick their things inside, it
makes it easier for them to do that.  She said the stuff that boys have come
out is called "come" and that when you feel that funny way it is called
"coming" even though girls don't
have come, at least I think that's what she said.  She said I was very
naughty to ask all those things and she thought I would get a really hard
spanking next Sunday when the club meets, and that made me feel just like I
do before I come!   

February 19

Rachel says the" Bad Girls" club meeting tomorrow is going to be very special
and really, really bad, but she won't tell me why. She says they are going to
do some things new which will mean we all get spanked extra hard the next
day.  I am going to think about it tonight and put my pillow in my pussy and
come  a lot!

February 20

I am sure we were doing something bad at the club today, but it was still so
interesting that I am really glad I am a member.  And even if what we did was
bad, we will all get spanked tomorrow, so that's all right. 

What happened is that Patty's brother came to the meeting! He is 12, and I
guess he knows a lot about sex and stuff, and so he came to talk to us and
then said he would show "it" to us if we would show him "ours."  You know
what I mean, Diary - he showed us his penis, except he called it his "dick"
and told some other words for it too. I don't remember all of them except one
was "prik" I think.  Anyway, he took it out of his pants and it was already
getting big, and when he touched it it got even bigger and stuck out straight
in front of him,  except it kind of curved.  And the end it was hard to
describe - it had a big bulge, with a little hole in the tip to pee with, of
course. And one of the other girls Diana I think, asked him to rub it so she
could see the "come" come out, but he said that showed she was just a little
girl because she should know he wasn't old enough to have real "come" because
he hadn't even grown any hair down there  on his "balls." That's this little
bag he has under his penis; I didn't know about that before, so it was really
interesting, and I have to ask Patty about that, but I didn't want to in
front of everybody else.

So then he wanted the girls to show him their vaginas, except he called them
"slits" but I knew that was really bad, or at least it kind of scared me, but
two girls just took their panties down and lay on their backs and he looked
right at them, and then he asked them to pull their "slits" apart, and they
did!  But when he wanted to put his fingers in there we all told him he had
to leave and we weren't going to let him stay any more because we started to
get worried that this was wrong, so he left, and then we decided that the
girls who let him look at them would get really hard spankings tomorrow,
although all of us are going to be spanked for looking at his thing,
especially when it was big.  

February 21

We all got spanked, Diary, and I spanked Diana, and Susan and Patty got
spanked with the hairbrush, and I found out that some of the girls get wet
inside when they are being spanked. Me too.  Patty told us all when she took
her panties down, "Look, My pussy is so wet!" and she showed us, and then she
got over Louise's knee, and Louise took the hairbrush and started spanking
Patty really hard so that her bottom got really red right away, and Patty was
yelling "OWWW! OWW! OWWW!" over and over and jumping and wiggling on Louise's
lap, and I couldn't help it, I put my hand down there and tried to feel good
without anybody noticing, but someone did and told everyone and I was so
embarrassed!  And then I had to get spanked with the hairbrush too!   And I
am thinking about it right now, Diary, and it makes me feel good to think
about it, so I have to stop writing so I can do that thing which makes me
feel so good. I know it makes me "come" because Patty told me she always does
that after getting a spanking.  

February 22

We might be in big trouble, Diary. I don't want to talk about it right now.
 I am so scared, but maybe it will be all right.

February 23 

Somebody told. Somebody told Patty's parents and then her parents talked to
Diana's and they're all meeting to talk about something.  My mommy looked at
me real funny at dinner tonight. We have to talk at school about this
tomorrow.

February 24

Diana's says she wasn't the one who told, but somebody did, and when her
parents asked her what happened she tried to tell them that it wasn't true
but she had to tell them some of the stuff we did.  She said Patty's parents
found the magazines Patty had, and then they talked to Patty's brother!
 Patty says she doesn't know what he told them because he won't say, but she
said that after dinner she saw her father go upstairs with him and they went
to his room, and she could hear her father tell him to take off his pants and
lie on the bed, and then she heard him get an awful long strapping with the
belt, and he was really yelling.  Patty thinks she'll get strapped too, and
she has never been strapped, only spanked. My parents don't spank, but what
will I do if they ask me?

February 25

Mommy and Daddy just left. They came in my room after dinner and told me they
wanted to talk, and they said all the parents were talking about how these
girls and this one boy were doing dirty things and looking at dirty magazines
and that I was one of them.  I didn't know what to do, so I just said I
wasn't one of those girls. They asked me over and over, but they didn't
really want to talk about what we did; I could see that it really bothered
mommy to even talk about it. So I think they believed me.   

February 26

There is going tobe some kind of parents' meeting at Diana's house tonight.
 It is a big secret from all the kids. We think the club better not meet
tomorrow. 

February 27 

Well, Diary, the club didn't meet, but maybe what happened instead was the
last meeting we will ever have together. Becuase the parents found out
everything and so we did all have to meet, with them, and I am lying here on
my tummy writing this because my bottom is so sore that don't want to even
touch it.  

The parents had us all in the same room and they said they knew what happened
because some of the girls had told them, and I guess they told them
everything, even about the spankings and the parents said they had all
decided that each family had to deal with their own child however they
thought was right but that they thought that the best way to teach us about
how what we did was wrong was for us to get spanked, maybe every Sunday for a
long time but really spanked, not the play spankings we did at the club. I
thought they didn't really know how much those spankings hurt,  but I guess
now I know they were right. And one mother said she wan't going to wait, she
was going to go home right away and give her girl a really sound spanking
that afternoon and another one that night and one every night for the next
week!  And other parents said stuff like that, about what they were going to
do, but my parents didn't say anything at all. They were so embarrassed, I
thought.

So then we got home, and they told me to go up to my room and wait, and in a
little while they both came in and sat on the bed.  And they said that they
didn't want to talk about the pictures, and about taking our pants down and
looking and all the other stuff they heard about, because they knew kids
sometimes did things like that and they didn't think that was so bad. And
they said they knew about how some girls said they touched themselves, and
they said that wasn't bad either, and that I was old enough to learn about
things like that and it was their fault for not telling me more. Mommy said
she had told me about babies and periods and that stuff (except I don't
really remember it all) but that now she realized she hadn't told me about
other stuff about sex and all that.  So she wasn't really angry about my
wanting to know. I thought, whew, it's all right now.   

But then she said that lying to them was something different. Lying was just
wrong, and they never thought I would lie to them, and that now she knew I
had lied before, too. And that they heard about the way we thought that
spanking games were fun, and that it seemed to them that maybe they had made
two mistakes with me which could be corrected at the same time. They trusted
me, and they had thought that spanking was too severe a punishment for their
little girl, so that now I was not only a liar but was experimenting with
what they called "pervus behavior" I think.   I didn't really understand, but
I was so scared right then that I couldn't think, because Mommy had this
wooden paddle in her hand and I knew what it was for.  It said "Mother's
Little Helper" on it.  She said Laura's mother had given it to her to use,
and now she was going to use it "where it would do the most good."

I was starting to cry already, but Mommy told me that she was not going to
feel sorry for me, and that I better get my panties down right away and get
over her knee. She pulled me over to the bed, with Daddy watching, and said
"Get those panties down right now, because if I have to take them down,
you'll be a sorry young lady. You've already had them down enough, from what
I hear."  So I pulled them down real fast and then bent over Mommy's lap, and
I felt her hand pushing against my back, and then I felt that paddle smack
down on my bottom, harder than anything I had felt before. It made me catch
my breath; I wanted to yell out, and I was going to yell it hurt so much, but
before I even had a chance she gave me another spank, and then the spanking
just went on and on, and I was crying, and she was spanking me so hard, and I
didn't think it would ever stop. And it didn't for the longest time; she just
spanked and spanked and spanked and spanked and I was yelling and crying and
trying to get away and she just held me down with her hand and kept spanking
me until I don't even remember what I was yelling, trying to ask her to stop
and saying how sorry I was for lying, and still the spanking just going on
and on until I couldn't do anything but cry and cry it hurt so much.

Well, Diary, finally it did stop, and I was lying across Mommy's lap, just
sobbing, and she told me that she hoped I had learned a lesson about lying
and I should be glad because some of the other girls were going to get more
than one spanking for what they did but that was all she was going to do as
long as I was good. And she got up and left with Daddy, and I lay down on my
tummy, and now it is along time later and my bottom is still so sore, and
really hot, but at least I have stopped crying.  

I don't ever want to get another spanking, Diary, not ever.  It was awful.

February 28

I talked to Patty on the phone. She got spanked last night just as hard as I
did, maybe even harder.  So did everybody else, I think.  And Patty is going
to be spanked again tonight and maybe all week, because she really started
the club.  

And while I was talking to Patty, I thought about how much it hurt, and how
much it would hurt to be spanked again, but the funny thing was that it
started me to feel that tickle again, and after I talked to Patty I had to go
back to my room and lie down on the bed and remember the spanking and do
"that" over again, with my pillow. And  it felt really good again.   

I don't know, Diary.  The spanking hurt so much, but after it was over  . . .
 

I wonder what another spanking would feel like?

 *******

"Hal"