Subject: Family Matters, chapter 10
From: Dswdiane@aol.com
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 1997 13:20:52 -0400 (EDT)
When Remy finally awoke to full consciousness, he was alone in a bed in the med lab. He looked around, unsure of where he was or what he was doing there. Oh, yeah, med lab. He groaned as the events of the night before came clear in his head. Hank appeared and started a quick exam.
"Well," Hank said, "your pulse and blood pressure have been normal for hours, but just went nuts. Are you scared or something, Remy?"
"Very funny," Remy said irritably. "What do you t'ink, Henri?"
"I think that it's unlikely that you have a closed head injury. The MRI I did last night was clean and you aren't showing many symptoms. How do you feel?"
"I gotta a headache from hell and I feel sick t' my stomach. I t'ink I might be hungover."
"And I think you might be right about that, but those are also symptoms of a concussion. I still need to keep you under observation. I'm also going put a mild tranquilizer and pain killer in your IV. It'll help the hangover and won't aggravate a concussion if you have one. By the way, I analyzed your blood work. You have traces of cocaine in your system, but whatever you took was mostly amphetamines." Remy groaned again. Hank continued, "Are you ready to tell Logan, Scott, Jean, and Rogue what you did last night?"
Remy thought about that for a second. Something sounded wrong. "Where're Stormy and Bishop?" he demanded.
"Busy elsewhere," Hank quickly changed the subject "And I didn't tell anyone about the pot or the cocaine. I'm leaving it up to you to tell the truth as you choose. All they know is that you wrecked your bike while driving drunk."
"Great," Remy said wearily. "Couldn't you have told 'em dat I was out savin' de world while I was on my bike?"
Beast chuckled. "Do you really want me to lie for you, Remy?"
Remy shook his head. "I 'spose you could tell 'em dat I not ready t' talk yet."
"Yeah. I could. Is that what you want?"
Remy shook his head again. "No, I wanna get dis over wit."
"I thought so."
Remy looked up as the others members of the X-men who were in the mansion gathered in his room in the med lab. Rogue rushed over and gathered him into a fierce embrace. He clung to her gratefully for a moment, then gently pushed her away and met the eyes of the others.
Scott was looking at him grimly, Logan thoughtfully, and Jean with concern and disapproval. Cable was also there by invitation from Scott. After all, he had been the one who found Remy and brought him home. He was studiously neutral. Remy shuddered with dread.
"I done messed up real bad," he said quietly, hoping that his voice wasn't trembling.
"We know that, Gambit," Scott said. "So why don't you just tell us exactly what you did and why."
Remy took a deep breath and started to tell the truth and the whole truth. He had decided to be completely honest and take the consequences whatever they were. He was tired of lying. There were several interruptions.
"You had been sneaking downstairs and drinking?" Scott was appalled. "And Cable never noticed? Or his team?"
"I usually did it late at night, Scott, when dey were sleepin.' I was careful not t' get caught."
And a few moments later, "You finished off an entire bottle of bourbon and then decided to go out and get some more when you were already drunk?" Scott's in a voice of bleak condemnation.
Remy nodded miserably. " I t'ink I had only had about four or five shots of de bourbon, by then. I didn't t'ink I was drunk den, Cyke. I t'ought dat I was still sober," Remy felt the ice storm gathering in his belly. This was worse than he had dreaded it being.
"You didn't think you were impaired after all that drinking?" Scott asked incredulously. "Remy, you were deluding yourself. You were out on the main roads endangering not only yourself, but also other people who might have been hurt by your drunken lack of judgement. And all because you wanted to keep your violations of your room restriction and your drinking a secret?" Scott shook his head with disapproval.
Remy took a deep breath and went on with his story. The next interruption was from Rogue. She gasped. "Sugah, you were lyin' to me when you called me?" Remy nodded. Rogue looked away from him and down at the floor. Remy felt new waves of guilt and shame.
"Cherie, I didn' mean t' lie t' you. I still t'ought dat I was gonna lie and try to get away wit what I was doin.' I realized later dat I didn' want t' lie no more, but I done already lied t' you," he said miserably. Rogue nodded, but didn't look up at him. He felt an agony of remorse and went on with his story.
"COCAINE!!!!!!!" Scott was outraged . Remy flinched. "What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all?"
"It wasn't even really cocaine," Remy said wretchedly. "Henri took blood >from me and found out dat it was mostly amphetamines I shot up."
No one spoke for several minutes. Then Cable spoke up quietly, "Let me get this straight, Gambit. You took an unidentified white powder from someone you had never met before and allowed him to inject it into your veins?" Remy nodded, his face burning.
Cable continued as if he were truly trying to understand, "Gambit, you are old enough and certainly well traveled enough to have heard many a horror story about people who inject unidentified powders into their veins. I, for one, would really like to know what in hell you were thinking."
Remy was almost overwhelmed with shame and despair. There were no reasonable excuse for his behavior and he knew it. "He was a friend of a friend of mine. And he had sterile syringes. So I t'ought dat maybe he knew what he was doin. I didn't really t'ink much at all. I just did it." Remy said quietly. "I was wrong. I know dat."
Cable shook his head, "Whatever punishment you earned for this one, kid, I want my team to watch and witness the consequences of a really stupid use of drugs. You really blew it as far as I'm concerned." Remy felt sick and very unhappy.
"Can we, please, go on with what you did next, Remy?" Scott requested.
Remy continued his story. He told everyone there how he had gone outside and thought about what he had done. That he realized that he was going to be punished and that he was sick with apprehension. He admitted that he had gone back into the club, smoked more pot, and drank a lot more before he left. He described walking his bike to the dirt-bike trails and then deciding he would make one last effort to have some fun. He finished the story at the point at which he woke up in the med lab. And he held his breath.
It was Logan's reaction that really mattered. And Logan wasn't even really looking at him. He seemed turned inward as if thinking very hard.
Rogue was still looking down at the floor and refusing to meet his eyes. Jean shook her head with her eyes full of disappointment. Scott and Cable looked at one another and then both looked at Logan who seemed to have somehow been appointed Remy's guardian. Remy finally took a long shuddering breath and continued to wait feeling sicker and sicker as each moment went by. His bottom tingled in anticipation.
Logan finally looked at him. His eyes were mostly neutral and when he spoke his voice was quiet, "Remy, what did I tell you that I would do if you tried to hurt yourself or succeeded in hurting yourself?"
Remy could barely speak past the lump that suddenly filled his throat. He swallowed hard and managed to choke the words out in a strangled whisper, "You said you would spank me. . . and that you would make me stand in the corner. . .with my pants. . .down. . ." He swallowed hard again, ". . .and dat den you would spank me again."
Logan nodded. "And what do you think you deserve for heading out of here, drunk and driving and endangering your life?"
Remy swallowed hard yet again. The lump in his throat was getting bigger. "What you. . .said," he managed to whisper.
"And for shooting up some stupid white powder you got from a stranger?"
"What. . .you. . .said."
"And for leaving that damn club drunk and high on drugs and driving your bike like a maniac on the dirt bike trails?"
Remy was almost unable to speak, but he managed to get the words out again. Logan nodded grimly.
"And what I said is exactly what you're gonna get. Three different times. And I think Cable is right about the spanking for the drugs. It should be in front of the X-Force kids. I think they might learn something and I'm sure you will."
"Oh, no. . .please, no." Remy felt the blood draining from his face and his hands were shaking so badly that he sat on them. He felt as if it would be unbearable to have the X-force kids watching as he got his bottom bared and spanked and then got himself put in a corner with his pants down like a very naughty child.
"And what do you think you deserve for breaking your room restriction?"
"Another. . .spanking?" Remy asked miserably.
"I think so," Logan agreed. "And for lying to us in San Francisco?"
"Another?" Remy thought he had anticipated the worst but this was all worse than he could have begun to imagine.
"And for leaving your assigned post while we were out in the field and depending on you?"
"Another?" Remy's voice cracked.
Logan nodded again. "So in one evening, you managed to earn yourself about nine spankings. Do you think that the 'fun' you had was worth it?"
Remy stared down at the bed and shook his head. He could feel his face burning again with shame and his stomach churning with nausea.
"Were you trying to see just how much trouble you get yourself into in one evening?" Logan asked. His voice was still quiet, but it was obvious that he was seriously irate.
Remy shook his head. Logan looked even angrier. "I don't believe you, Remy. I think you were trying to get yourself in much trouble as you could. I think you knew damn well that you were going to make us all angry as hell. You endangered your own life over and over. You let all of us down. You acted like an irresponsible child. And you're going to get treated like one, boy."
Tears welled up in Remy's eyes and a couple spilled down his cheeks. He kept looking down hoping that no one noticed. The calm and almost cold irritation in Logan's voice was worse in many ways than roaring anger would have been. He hated having Logan angry with him. It hurt worse in many ways that any number of spankings would hurt, although he was quite sure that the spankings would hurt like hell. He was overwhelmed with images of being put over Logan's knees with his pants down and his bottom spanked until it was blazing with heat. And with images of himself, standing humiliated, sobbing, and embarrassed in a corner with his bottom bare and red as a sunset. Waiting for yet another spanking to follow. He felt again as he were going to either throw up or die.
"I'm gonna save most of what I have to say to you about all this nonsense for when you recovered enough to start gettin' spanked. But, I will say to you right now, Remy, if you really wanted to make all of us so damn mad that we want to throw you out of this family, you're makin' the kinda choices that would sure as hell cause me to have some thoughts about it."
Remy felt as if he had been stabbed through his heart with a knife. There was nothing Logan could have said that would have hurt more. Tears welled again in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, but he held his breath against the sobs that threatened to burst out.
"Logan," Hank started to protest. Logan held his hand up to stop him.
"I don't have anything else to say for now," Logan said firmly. "And the rest of us have got more important things to be doing than spending time with you while you recover from injuries that you brought on yourself. And I hope to God that you know that we wouldn't be so damn mad if we didn't care about you. But right now I think that you'd best benefit from some time to think about what you've done and what you've brought down on yourself. Hank, will you let us know when this brat is recovered enough to get his punishment?" Hank nodded.
"I'm outta here. We got work to do." Logan said firmly. He started to to the door, then turned back. "Remy, look at me. Look at me right now."
Remy pulled his shaking hands out from under his tingling butt and surreptitiously wiped away the tears that had fallen down his face. He looked up into Logan's angry blue eyes.
His face was white except for the red flush of shame on his cheeks and his eyes were miserable and still welling with tears. Logan felt a moment of compassion, but chose to hold it in check. He had a strong hunch that Remy wasn't ready for any compassion. That he wanted and needed to know that he was in deep trouble and that his family was angry.
"What do you see on my face?" Logan asked.
Remy's voice shook, "You're mad. . .at me. . .and. . .disappointed."
"You got it, kid." Logan turned and went out the door. Scott and Cable exchanged a glance and headed out after him. Jean approached the bed and put her hand on Remy's head stroking his wildly tousled auburn hair.
"Remy," she said gently, "you do know that Logan wouldn't be so angry if he didn't care, don't you?"
Remy was looking down at the bed again with the tears overflowing. He could barely hear what Jean was saying as he struggled not to cry. "I screwed. . .up. . .Jeannie," he choked out.
"Yeah, Remy, you did. And you're going to be punished for it and pretty severely." Jean sighed.
"I know dat. . .I deserve it," Remy admitted. "I. . .really am a. . .fuck up."
"No, Remy, you are not a 'fuck up.' You made some really bad choices and I don't really understand what you thought you were doing, but you are not a 'fuck up.' And I, for one, have no inclination to throw you out."
"T'anks, Jeannie," Remy managed to choke out.
Jean sighed again. It was clear to her that Remy wasn't getting much comfort >from her. He was too upset about Logan's anger. She also knew that a part of that anger was because Storm and Bishop were being held by Sinister, but she agreed with the decision that it was not yet a good time to tell Remy. She stroked his hair gently again and left.
Rogue was still sitting by the side of Remy's bed looking down. Hank decided that the two of them might need a few minutes of privacy.
"Remy," he said kindly. "I'm going to go prepare to get those X-rays. And it might be good to run another MRI. I'll be back in a few."
As the door shut behind Hank, Rogue looked up at Remy who was still looking down at his bed with tears still welling out of his eyes. "Oh, sugah," she said quietly. "Ya done really screwed up this time."
Remy nodded, feeling again the huge lump in his throat. "I so sorry. . . cher. . . about lyin' t' you."
"Ah done figured out that ya weren't really lyin' to me, hon. Ya were lyin' to all of us to try to stay out o' trouble. But ya done got yourself in a whole boat load of trouble."
Remy nodded and again and gratefully accepted Rogue's loving support as she gathered him into her arms and held him. "I really, really sorry, cherie," he choked out.
"It's okay, sugah."
When Hank got back in the next few minutes Rogue was still holding Remy. He cleared his throat and watched them disentangle themselves. "I'm ready to do another MRI and take some X-rays," he announced.
"And ah have work I should be doin.' I'll be back, lover," Rogue gave Remy a kiss and went out the door.
Hank looked carefully at Remy and then put more xanax into the IV. "Well, was that worse than you had even imagined?" he asked. Remy nodded. "I thought so. And I was afraid it would be. C'mon, Gambit, we got films to make."
The next hour or so was spent with the MRI and the X-ray machines. Remy managed not to give into the tears that threatened but he continued to tremble with fear and upset and continued to be driven insane by the images in his head of the punishment that awaited him. The thought of the X-Force team watching him get punished continued to torment him.
"Remy, do you know that part of why Logan is so angry is because you scared him?" Hank asked gently as he took the films.
"Scared him?" Remy was confused.
"Yeah, it scared him that you took so many chances with your own life and safety and managed to hurt yourself so badly. Because he does care about you. Turn to the right and lift your left arm over your head. And hold your breath now. Good."
"I seem t' have a real talent at makin' people stop carin' 'bout me, Henri," Remy said quietly.
Hank sighed. "You seem to want to think that you can make people stop caring about you, Remy. That's probably what part of this mess is about." Remy didn't respond. Hank changed the film in the machine and said, "Remy, there's no way you're going to be thrown out of this family."
"Dat don't seem t' be what Logan t'inks." Remy said with despair.
"And I can't believe he said that to you," Hank grumbled. "Remy, your behavior last night was ill advised, self destructive, and remarkably irresponsible, but it was merely the behavior of a wildly misbehaving adolescent. It's not cause to throw you out." Remy shrugged and looked down again so Hank wouldn't see the tears in his eyes.
Hank gave up. It was clear that Remy wasn't listening to his attempts to help. He was too caught up in worrying about Logan's anger. He finished the x-rays and took Remy back to his bed. It didn't seem that the xanax was helping much but he did wonder how upset Remy would be without it.
"I've got to go develop the film and look at it," he said. "I shouldn't be gone more than an hour or so. Do you want someone with you?"
Remy took a deep breath, "I want Stormy," he said. Hank sighed. He was deeply worried about Storm and Bishop.
"She's not here, Gambit. But I'm sure she'd want to be with you if she could be."
Remy nodded. Hank went on, "Do you want something to read?"
Remy shook his head. He just wanted to lie there and think. Hank left.
Remy curled up in the bed and tried to make himself think clearly. He continued to be tormented by images of the spankings he'd been promised and by his fear of having them witnessed. He was even more tormented by his memories of the anger in Logan's voice and on his face. His head was pounding, every muscle in his body felt tense, and nausea waltzed through his stomach in waves.
He sat up suddenly and jerked the IV out of his arm. Blood spurted and he held a wad of paper towels against it. He knew he was on the verge of getting himself into even more trouble, but he felt driven and as if he could not lie in the bed for another moment without going insane.
He got out of the bed and went to the communications unit to find out where Logan was. Cerebro, the mutant locator machine in their computer, informed him that Wolverine was in Remy's bedroom. That surprised him a bit, but he headed there up two flights of stairs. His legs were very shaky and on more than one occasion he had to stop and lean over to control the dizzy faintness that threatened to overwhelm him. He encountered no one, although several times he heard voices and ducked out of sight.
As he approached the open door of his room, he heard Scott and Logan talking inside. He paused outside to listen. "I think I've found a list of Sinister's labs," he heard Scott say.
"Print it out, Scotty," Wolverine directed. "At least that'll give us some place to look. Has Jean had any luck with Cerebro?"
"None. She can't find a trace of Storm or Bishop. Wherever Sinister is holding them, he's got them blocked from Cerebro's detection abilities."
Remy gasped in horror. Logan and Scott looked up to discover that he was leaning against the doorway of his room.
"Sinister has Storm and Bishop?" Remy demanded desperately. His legs were shaking so badly he could barely stand.
"REMY! What in hell are you doin' outta bed?" Logan demanded.
"Answer me, dammit," Remy insisted. "Does Sinister have Stormy and Bishop?"
"Remy, you look like you're about to fall over," Scott said with alarm, leaping to his feet to escort Remy to his bed and sit him down on it.
"Tell me what's goin' on, please." Remy was almost beside himself with worry and distress.
Scott nodded and put a gentle hand on Remy's shoulder. " Sinister and the Marauders showed up in our hotel in San Francisco. They caught us off guard and took Storm and Bishop."
"Because I wasn't here at de communications console," Remy said miserably. "Dis is my fault, too, neh?"
"No, Remy, absolutely, no," Scott said. "They caught us off guard. There was nothing you could have done from here. It was no one's fault at all."
"Except maybe mine," Logan said gruffly. "I was sposed to be standin' watch, but, no, I was all caught up in talkin' to Ro."
"No, Logan," Scott protested. "You reacted more quickly than any of us. That's why you got hurt so badly."
"And who knows how quick I woulda been if I hadn't been distracted by what Ro and I were talkin' about?" Logan brushed away Scott's attempt to reassure him and turned back to Remy. "I asked you a question, kiddo."
Remy was still shocked and deeply upset about the news about Storm and Bishop. "What happened? Don' we have any idea where dey might be?
Scott filled him in on the battle in the hotel and went on to say, "Remy, we'll find them."
Logan was seething. "Remy, I asked you a question. What the hell are you doin' outta bed? And why is your arm bleeding? Did you pull your IV out yourself?"
Remy tried to pull himself together. He was appalled at the news he had just heard. But what was it that he had planned to do when he found Logan? Oh, yeah, right. He looked down at his feet.
"I came to find you, Logan, to beg you to forgive me," he said shakily. "I know dat I deserve de punishment you gonna give me, but I can't stand you bein' so angry wit me. I can't bear it. I just wanted you to know how sorry I am." Tears welled in his eyes and fell down his burning face.
Scott looked back and forth between Logan and Remy. He was torn between compassion for Remy's obvious anguish and amusement at the confused mixture of exasperation and concern on Logan's face.
"Remy," Logan said firmly, "get up and let me take you back to med lab."
Remy shook his head with stubborn determination, "I won't," he said. "Not 'til you tell me dat you ain't never gonna forgive me. Or tell me dat maybe you could." Tears continued to spill down his face.
"Remy, what in hell did I say to you to make you think I'd never forgive you?" Logan demanded.
"You told me. . . dat you wanted t'. . . t'row. . . me out," Remy managed to get out as he held his breath in his struggle not to start sobbing.
Logan sighed deeply. He moved over to where Remy sat and put his hand on Remy's head, stroking his disheveled hair. "Kiddo, I say things when I'm mad that I don't really mean. I'm sorry. You don't deserve to be thrown out of here. And I think I can forgive you. That doesn't mean you aren't goin' get a collection of truly memorable spankings. Cause you are. Now, can I please take you back to your bed in med lab?"
Tears poured down Remy's face as he felt Logan's loving touch on his head. "Yeah," he said, "I'll go back down."
Hank's worried voice blasted into the room over the communications console. "I have a missing patient. Does anyone know where he is?"
"We have him, Hank," Scott responded. "And Logan's bringing him back."
Hank was worried and annoyed when Logan brought Remy back into med lab. "He almost fell a couple of times on the way down here, Hank," Logan informed him with exasperated concern.
"Well, he shouldn't have been on his feet at all," Hank said irritably. "He has a hairline fracture of his left tibia and parading all over the house wasn't doing that any good. Not to mention the fact that it isn't good medical practice to jerk IV lines and needles out of his own arm. He's still weak from all the blood he lost. Remy what in the hell did you think you were doing?"
"Wasn't t'inkin', Henri," Remy said as he was lowered back to his bed. "I just needed t' talk t' Logan." Hank and Logan shared a glance of exasperation.
"Dammit, Remy," Logan was seriously annoyed again. "the next time you think you have to talk to me, just call me. I'll come to you."
"He doesn't seem to have a head injury," Hank said. "And he's not really seriously damaged except for that one hairline fracture which just needs a splint. I don't want him on his feet, Logan, but I'm not at all sure it would do him much damage to spend some time over your knees like about right now."
"Just for the escapade he just pulled?" Logan nodded grimly.
Remy's heart froze and his stomach churned. Yet he felt a curious sense of relief that at least his punishment might be about to start and that there might be some beginning of resolution to this whole mess.
"I can think of an alternative to standing him in the corner," Logan said. "And I can think of something to use to blister his butt that will sting like hell, but not risk doing him any further damage. Hank why don't you notify the others that Remy is about to get his bottom spanked and invite them to come and watch." Remy felt sick and seriously scared. Hank nodded and went to the com center. Logan looked down at Remy.
"Remy," he ordered. "Roll over to the side of your bed." Remy did as he was told. Logan took a pillow from another bed and put it in the middle of Remy's. "Now roll back over with your stomach over this pillow."
The pillow lifted Remy's butt into the air and he held his breath as it started again to tingle in anticipation. Then he felt Logan's hands at the waist band of his sweat pants. His stomach clenched as he felt the pants pulled down to his thighs, followed immediately by his underwear. The air in the room felt as cool to his bare buttocks as the sheets of the bed felt to his face which was burning with embarrassed shame.
"Remy, I want you to wait right here with your butt bare. Don't you move an inch." Logan exited as Rogue, Scott, and Cable came in, followed closely by Jean.
Remy imagined that all their eyes were on his bare, upturned bottom and he felt sick with embarrassment. He also imagined that his bottom was soon going to be even redder than his face. He was deeply scared, yet still feeling a curious sense of relief.
Logan was only gone a few minutes. Remy turned his head toward the door as he heard Rogue gasp when Logan re-entered the room. And he gasped himself, feeling the blood drain again from his face as he saw what Logan was carrying, a thin whippy looking switch that had obviously just been cut from the yard.
"Logan," Hank said with concern. "That could cut him to ribbons."
"Well, I ain't planning to cut him at all. It just seemed to me that this thing has the potential to sting like hell without having to use much force. So, he'll feel plenty of pain without much chance of doin' him any real harm."
Remy felt as if he had ice running through his veins. *This is gonna hurt. This is gonna hurt bad,* he thought with terror.
Logan went over to the bed and looked down at him thoughtfully. It was quite obvious to him that Remy was terrified and that was all well and good.
"Do you think it might be best to just leave him over that pillow?" His question was directed at Hank. Remy frantically shook his head. He didn't want to be left over the damn pillow. It felt far and away too lonely. If he were going to be spanked, he wanted the comfort of being held even if it was face down over Logan's knees.
"I don't think so, Logan," Hank came to his rescue. "He's probably going to have a pretty hard time lying still for this. I think you could control him better over your knees."
Logan nodded. Both he and Hank had understood more than they were saying about why Remy had been shaking his head. Logan took Remy by the arm, raised him up to his knees and then sat down and pulled him face down over his lap.
"I think it would be best if you turn him so that his head is up on the bed," Hank suggested. "It's still possible that he had a minor concussion and I don't want his head hanging down."
Logan did as he was asked. Remy reached out for his pillow and buried his face in it. Now that he was actually over Logan's knees with his pants down and his bottom bare, he truly felt like a very bad child about to receive a very well deserved punishment. And he continued to feel that odd mixture of terror and relief.
"Just so everyone here will know the program, " Logan said, "the inspiration for this particular spanking is for ripping the IV out of his arm and wandering around the mansion while he was still too sick to be out of bed. Just one more instance of hurting yourself, kiddo. But somehow, since I've had some time to think about it, I don't think it's quite a serious enough offense to merit an entire spanking. So this is also your spanking for driving drunk when you went to buy more bourbon. And since you have a fractured bone in your leg and can't stand in the corner after I finish, you are going back over that pillow with your pants down for an hour and then you are going to be spanked again."
Remy felt another wave of cold shudders in his guts and then he heard the switch whip through the air and felt the blaze of it against his bare butt. It did, indeed, sting as if an entire platoon of hornets had just landed in a straight line across his bottom. He yelped with pain and before he could recover, it sliced into his butt again, eliciting another involuntary yelp.
Logan switched him carefully and thoroughly, landing one red line of pain just below the previous one as he moved down Remy's bare behind to his thighs. Remy's yelps of pain got louder. By the time the switch was striking halfway down his butt, despite his determined efforts to not cry, he was sobbing deeply. His bottom blazed with pain and he was soon crying so hard that his nose was running and he was gasping for breath. By the time Logan was striking the tender skin at the juncture of his buttocks and thighs, he was hoping desperately that it was almost over. He felt horrified when Logan continued the switching down his thighs.
He was even more horrified when Logan started welting him again back up his bare and stinging bottom.
"Oh. . .no. . ." he sobbed out, "please. . .don't. . .please stop."
"Remy," Logan said firmly, "you seem determined to get yourself spanked and you're going to get what you've asked for, boy. I just want to make damn sure that you get spanked hard enough and long enough that you think twice before the next time you set yourself up for this kinda punishment."
He continued the switching, crisscrossing the red lines left by the journey downward. Remy started to kick and twist and try to escape from the slicing pain. Logan paused for a second, trapped Remy's legs under his right leg, and continued to switch him thoroughly. Frantic from the blazing pain, Remy reached back to protect himself with his hand. The switch blazed against his hand and he screamed, jerking it away. He brought it up in front of his face and looked with dazed incomprehension at the red line across his palm.
Logan took the offending hand and held it at Remy's waist. And then he continued switching the bare bottom over his knees, until the crisscrossing red lines started to merge into a solid field of reddened butt on which the switch blows appeared white for a moment before merging into the expanse of bare red flesh.
"Please. . .stop. . .please. . ." Remy was sobbing so hard that he could barely get the words out. "please. . . " He was unable to stop himself from trying to squirm away in every direction, but he was trapped and there was no escape >from the stinging slashes across his burning butt.
He heard Logan sigh deeply, "Child, I never wanted to spank you like this, but you've been asking for it. So it isn't gonna do you much good to plead with me now. I'll stop when I'm ready and not a moment before." He continued switching him with exquisite control, just hard enough to be really painful, but never hard enough to leave welts or cut the skin.
Remy was overwhelmed with despair and even as he sobbed, he remembered that this was just the first of many spankings that he had earned. He couldn't believe that he had been so stupid. His whole body started shaking from his deep, gut wrenching sobs.
Logan stopped. Remy shuddered with relief and continued to sob as he lay over Logan's knees. Logan let go of the hand that he had held at his back and Remy tentatively moved it to his blazing bottom, feeling it gingerly.
"Okay, Remy, this one is over. I'm gonna let you lie there for a bit and calm down a little, but then you're going back over that pillow with your pants still down. And in about an hour, I'm gonna use this switch on your bottom again," he said quietly.
Remy was terrified. He didn't think he could stand another switching like the one he just had. He sobbed from pain and pure fear.
After a few minutes, the pain started subsiding and his sobs quieted slightly. Logan took him by the arm again and pulled him up enough to get up. He guided Remy back down over the pillow with his bare red bottom up and exposed.
Remy continued to cry. He felt miserably on display. He felt terrified about the punishment yet to come and for all that the pain was subsiding a little, his butt was still burning and throbbing.
"Well, I am impressed," he heard Cable say quietly. "That was one of the most effective spankings I think I have ever seen."
"Logan, do you really think it was necessary to be that hard on him?" Jean asked.
"Yep, Jeannie, I do think exactly that. He asked for it and he got it." Logan's voice sounded tired and strained. Remy shuddered, gasping out sobbing breaths. He didn't like that tone in Logan's voice and he didn't know what it meant.
"I'm going back to Cerebro," Jean said. "And I don't really want to watch the next one. It hurts me to see him hurt like that. Is it really necessary for us to watch?"
"I think it makes the punishment more effective," Scott offered.
"Jeannie, I agree with Scotty, but you do what you need to do." Logan's voice continued sound full of exhausted stress.
"I'll be back to watch," she said with resignation. "But I do want to get back to looking for Storm and Bishop."
"As do I," Scott said. "Rogue, I could use your assistance with these files. And I doubt it makes Remy feel any better for you to just hang out here."
"Actually," Hank said, "I had an idea about designing a search engine for those files."
"Well, we could sure use some help." Scott sounded relieved.
"Someone needs to stay here with Remy," Hank said with deep worry in his voice. "He's real upset."
"I ain't goin' anywhere," Logan said. "Just find 'em. Find me some way to go after 'em. I want to get 'em back and beat the hell outta Sinister."
Remy laid sobbing over the pillow, hurting in his butt and in his heart. He hated the exhausted tone in Logan's voice and was sure as hell that he was the cause. He was also upset about Storm and Bishop and somehow sure it was his fault that they had been abducted. He couldn't stop crying no matter how hard he tried.
His bottom gradually stopped hurting so badly although he could still feel the warmth and irritation of his thoroughly punished bottom skin. His sobs sometimes quieted, but then he would think of the spanking yet to come or of the strain in Logan's voice or the abduction of Storm and Bishop, and he would get caught in a new wave of fear, grief, and shame.
After what seemed an interminable length of time, he felt Logan sit down on the edge of the bed. Remy kept his face buried in the pillow at the top of the bed and waited, continuing to sob.
"Remy, what is it, now? Why are you crying so hard?" Logan asked. "Here, blow your nose." He handed Remy some tissues and waited while he lifted his head enough to wipe his face. "C'mon, kiddo, talk to me."
"You sound. . . so tired and worn out. . . and sick of all this," Remy sobbed. "And it's all my fault. . .and I'm scared. . .I don't wan' . . .any more spankin's. . . I don'. . .I j'st hurt. . .all over."
Logan sighed deeply. He rose and Remy felt his hands at the tops of his pants and underwear which got pulled up again. The soft material felt rough against his abraded skin, but Remy felt grateful to be covered. Logan then sat down again at the head of the bed and pulled Remy into his arms. Remy curled up against Logan's massive chest and continued to cry, but he felt enormously relieved to be held.
"Remy," Logan said gently, "I'm tired and worn out and sick of all of this. I don't like hurting you any more than Jeannie enjoys watching you get hurt. But you seem to need it bad, kid. And I'm damn determined to do whatever the hell I need to do to teach you that it isn't okay for you to hurt yourself. Maybe if I spank you hard enough and long enough you'll get over it. And I am gonna spank you again, kiddo, and again and again."
"I'm. . .sorry," Remy gulped, almost petrified with fear at the thought of all the spankings that awaited him. He sobbed convulsively. "Please, don't. . .please."
"Remy, what the hell choice have you given me? What in hell did you expect to have happen to you? A smack on the wrist? A scolding?"
Remy sobbed even harder at the exasperated tone in Logan's voice. Logan sighed again and held him more tightly. Remy clung to him, trying to absorb the comfort of his loving arms. He knew that he had left Logan no choice and that he deserved every single spanking that had been promised to him. But he didn't like it and he didn't want it. Or at least, he didn't think he wanted it.
Logan almost seemed to be picking up on his thoughts. He said, "Tell me something, child. And answer me honestly. What if I did say 'Okay, that was punishment enough. I changed my mind. You ain't gonna be punished no more?' How would you feel?"
Remy felt a wild surge of hope and then thought about it carefully. He realized with sickening clarity that he would feel disappointed and not loved. That somehow, even though Logan's anger and disappointment made him feel scared and lonely, not getting the punishment he deserved would be even worse. His sobs quieted slightly and he answered honestly, "You're right, Logan. . .I'd hate dat. . .even more. . . I was. . . really bad an'. . . I deserve. . .all. . .dis."
"Good for you, kiddo. Thanks for tellin' the truth."
Remy felt inexplicably relieved. He heard the door open quietly and wondered who was there, but he didn't want to turn and look.
"I came back to check on both you guys," he heard Jean's voice which was filled with warmth and a hint of amusement. "Logan, I thought you were going to make him lie there for a full hour with his pants down."
"He was crying too damn hard, Jeannie," Logan said quietly. "And it's my call on how to run this damn circus."
"I know, Logan. I'm just glad you relented. I did think he was too upset to be left like that. I should have known you wouldn't let him lie there feeling totally miserable."
"I'm not a monster, Jeannie," Logan said gruffly.
"I know that, sweetheart," Jean said quietly. "And part of why I came back was to apologize to you. I was upset at how hard Remy was crying and how hurt he seemed to be, but I thought about it and realized that you're only doing what he needs you to do."
"And as I just told him, I don't like it any more than you do, darlin.' And you're right. I'm just doin' what needs to be done."
Remy's tears had almost completely subsided. He felt safe and secure and loved even though his bottom still throbbed and he knew he had more spankings coming to him.
"In about five minutes, that hour is going to be up, Logan," Jean said quietly.
Logan sighed again. "Remy, I'm going to put you down back over that pillow and take your pants back down. It's almost time to give you that second spanking."
Remy shuddered, but let go of Logan and obediently put himself face down back over the pillow on the bed. He felt Logan pull his pants back down and trembled slightly. He started to feel scared again, dreading what was coming.
"Well, as usual, Logan, you are the best at what you do," he heard Jean say. "He's hardly got a mark on him. You used that switch like a pro."
"Great," Logan rumbled. "New job description. Professional delivery of spankings for all occasions. I suppose you'd have told me if there was any news of Storm and Bishop? I kinda prefer being a professional berserker."
"No news, dear."
Remy laid silently on the bed, feeling a lot of anxiety about the switching that was coming, but still feeling some peaceful sense of security. He was utterly exhausted.